Thursday, November 10, 2016

Ya'll are missing the point

"We should not judge based on a vote!!!"

"We should celebrate the differences we have. Those things do not define us!!"

"You'll survive this! We survived your candidate."

"We are each unique. Let it go!!"

Well hey there little snowflakes; you really don't understand why we're pissed, do you?

Making a statement about society based on social media has always pained me, but this is our reality now. A large portion of this country gets its "news" from social media sources, and so here we are, talking in this forum instead of face-to-face. Those sentences above are actual posts I've seen concerning this election on Facebook (and always with too many exclamation points...what is it with you people and exclamation points...). I truly wish ole Zuck had never changed the algorithm so that we could see every like of every thing. But then again, we wouldn't truly know where our moral integrity stood then, would we? And if you're tired of seeing election stories, go elsewhere and stick your head in the sand. If you don't think real change can be made by banding together on a forum, well, you're wrong.

This was not just another election. Not just another transfer of power. Not about your guy's economic policies versus my gal's. That's not why we're pissed/terrified. We are not protesting on the streets because we lost. We are not bursting into tears at random times throughout the day because our party isn't in power. This guy is no George W., and he's no Mitt Romney. We would not have this reaction to those men. Those men are not bigots. They are not tyrants. And, you actually had choices for a candidate that was more in line with your party's standards. You sent them packing. Republican heads of the State Department and national security advisers told us this guy was unfit to be president. They said he would be reckless and dangerous, and this nation ignored those that actually understand foreign policy. Your feelings on his abilities do not amount to facts.

Our reaction comes from knowing now that you do not value us. By now, we all know the shit that came out of his mouth. It doesn't bear repeating. We know his feelings on minorities, women, different religions, and immigrants. We know you chose your own self interests over our humanity. And yes, us liberals are also smart enough to know that the majority of you who are not wealthy have actually voted against that self interest in the name of whatever you could conjure up to blame it on - call her a baby-killer, a liar, say she lacks charisma, is too establishment - whatever truly makes you justify not caring about us and lacking the foresight for your own future. This is why you can judge based on a vote. That vote shows your priorities. It shows your morality. We are deeply hurt to realize people we called friends are not interested in our rights.

The divide I feel from my fellow citizens is very real. And, the hate is not from me. The questioning of the hate is from me. My vote is inclusionary. My vote is to protect the most vulnerable. Your guy said those people don't matter, and he said it in some damn frightening ways. You said an overly qualified woman was worth less than a man who is uniquely unqualified. And women, the gender I hold to the highest standard of decency...women did that.

No one is talking me down off this one. We don't just accept this and move on because accepting this is accepting bigotry. To stay silent is to promote that bigotry. It's not "good manners" to not call someone on their bullshit - it's enabling. But hey, you can admit when you've made a mistake. Shoot, Glenn Beck (yeah, that Glenn Beck) has even said he was wrong about Obama. You can keep an eye on this new president-elect and raise absolute hell when he follows through on the racist policies and warnings from history you chose to ignore (I'm gonna act like that was your choice because I still have some faith in you). You voted for him, after all. Now, you have to hold him accountable.

And, by the way, ya'll do realize you've really elected Mike Pence, right? If that big ole chunk of establishment with a hate-filled center doesn't scare the hell out of you, well then, you really are missing the point.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

"I burn 500 calories taking a shit."

I've long been tired of watching women starve themselves and eat shite food to get thin. It's gross. It's antiquated. It's damaging. But, today, my limit was reached. 

A woman walked into my CrossFit gym interested in personal training to get fit enough to take a civil servant physical test she had previously failed. After talking to her, I discovered a "doctor" had put her on a 500 calorie a day diet. I tried to stay professional, which is always challenging for me, but all I had were questions. She was overweight, but not to a point that would be a major risk for her health that needed immediate attention. She explained that this dude with an ever-loving medical degree had prescribed this diet, along with a laundry list of supplements so that her potassium and calcium and god knows what else didn't get too low.

She said she had lost 20 pounds in a month. No shit. If I starve my body to the point where it eats my muscles and harms my brain functioning, I could probably drop weight like that, too. Doctor Fuckface is over there selling his soul to make a buck from the supplement companies and monopolizing off the desperate because, you know, screw ethics and oaths and such. 

When will this shit end? I told her she absolutely had to fuel her body with a lot of quality food if she expected to do anything physical. Do not act like this is difficult, people. Eat whole, real foods often. Have a beer every once in awhile for your sanity. Stop acting like your outsides will ever be more important than your insides - health or otherwise. Quit admiring these idiotic spunk bubbles who feel like the former statement is wrong. 

And, for the love, do not trust someone just because they managed to maneuver their way through 8 years of higher education. You've got enough psychotic relationships. Don't let food become one. 

*title credit goes to the lovely Kelsey

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Teach your penis some respect

My brilliant, beautiful, witty friend was sitting at a bar in the hippest of hip cities last night, having an impassioned conversation with a 37-year-old man. They had shared interests, and the words flowed easily. Then, about 30 minutes in, he says to this wonderful broad, "I mean, let's be clear...this is just about sex. I don't want to, like, take you out to dinner tomorrow night."

My friend goes a out a lot more than me, she's more tolerant, and her social skills are slightly more refined. So, she didn't pull a Katy and deliver a swift jab to the throat, nor did she say anything along the lines of, "Oh, so sex with yourself? Have fun. Hope you die in a torturous, horrific accident on the way home." And then, jab to the throat.

She said, "Well...ok...I guess I appreciate your honesty. But, we aren't going to have sex. That's not me. I thought we were just talking."

Like I said, waaaaay more tolerant. Needless to say, he left soon after. 

Look, I'm already so disillusioned with society as a whole that I'm ready for locusts to fall out of the sky and fire to rain down, but let's dissect this a bit just for shits and giggles. 

This dude is not a member of the chlamydia-collecting-Snapchat-whore-selfie generation. He is thirtydamnseven. He was born in the 70s. There's a likelihood that he's been in the dating pool for a long time and has probably been married. There's not a chance in hell he truly thinks this is an acceptable thing to say to someone. He is not liberated in his honesty. He is a gross, disrespectful asshole.

I'm not naive. I know there are plenty of men out there just looking for notches on the bedpost. Thing is, most of these manwhores at least have charm and a bit of chivalry on their side. That's how they get women into bed in the first place. I mean, hell, you don't even have to be a very good-looking man to get down with the ladies. We are the gender that finds humor and a sparkly personality to be a huge turn-on. You turds just need bare skin and a set of tits. 

I digress. 

Point is, at least with charming the pants off someone, respect is still present. You're engaging with the woman - you're interested (yeah, we know when you fake interest). This almost 40 needledick completely lacked respect. If you found his response humorous, you also completely lack respect. Finding something that hurts or damages another human to be funny is disgusting. And, if this is where we're headed as a society, #1. I'm so damn glad I'm out of the dating pool, and #2. We're fucked. 

For the women that a line like his works on, FUCKING STOP. Jesus, chick, you're taking us back to the dark ages. That shit ain't cute. How was your sexual experience with a guy like that? Oh, completely selfish and unsatisfying? Shock. 

"So, Katy, you're saying that even if we are really just trying to have sex with a lady, we should be interested in her, treat her with respect, and then proceed to be generous and continue the respect if we score a sexual escapade? And, if it turns out I'm not that into her and don't want to have sex with her again, I should be kind to her and let her know that this isn't right for me at this point in life?"

YES. Good god, yes.

Who might even get something way more important than sex out of the relationship.


Monday, March 9, 2015

Grow a set

Racism, sexism, bigotry...for you white turds who drop racial slurs and think it's ok because you heard it in a song...for those of both sexes that mock women for their physical appearance in attempts to keep them one-dimensional...religion pushers, gay bashers, and all you bullies who are so insecure you have to tear another down to feel any are, of course, the problem.

And, those of you who know this behavior is wrong and sit idly by, silent, you are the much bigger problem. All of you allowing the doucher guy to make fun of the "fat chick" without calling him out...all of you who put your head down without a word when the loud one in the group makes a "nigga" joke...congratulations.

You're an assistant bigot, and you're the one allowing this behavior to thrive. 

Friday, October 10, 2014

Set fire to the snake oil stands

"Showy" sells. It's also bullshit.

There's heaps of showy yoga out there. This is also true of CrossFit. Considering these two things changed my life drastically, I get real ragey towards those that make these wonderful ways of connecting to yourself unsafe and a mockery.

Do not go to a CrossFit that doesn't have a beginner program of some sort. Do not get offended when you show up to a yoga class above your level and the instructor asks you to modify your movement. Anyone worth their salt will do these things. Those that aren't will ignore you and collect their paycheck.

"But, Katy, handstands and muscle-ups are so fun!" First, I wouldn't know because I'm not proficient at either of these things. Second, of course these are fun - fun for your friends to like on Instagram. Are these things fun for your body if you don't have the requisite strength and ability to engage the correct muscles and the solid base to get you there? Hell no. And, both of these things are crazy advanced. You're asking for your shoulder to pitch a fit. Lemme know if all your Instagram friends pony up for the surgery you'll surely need if you don't set yourself up properly for success. Run screaming from a yoga teacher that instructs a "basics" level class to hop into handstand. Neck punch the CrossFit trainer that has you kip your life away into your first muscle-up.

It takes time, application, and discipline to become a true student of any avocation. This is not sexy for the immediate gratification crowd. If you're in that crowd, contemplate who you're truly living your life for.

It's easy to sell rhinestones. It's damn hard to mold yourself into a diamond.

Invest your money in an instructor who takes you on as a whole being - someone who gives you the tools to adjust your movement in a way that makes you strong and ready for when you can tackle something tougher. Write checks to those who are honest in their communication with you, take your goals seriously, and don't allow you to do anything stupid on their watch.

And, please, for the love, don't be stupid. It may take some time, but you will eventually realize that "showy" is just that - superficial nonsense. Hallelujah to that always fading.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Ain't nobody got time for Walmart yoga

We occasionally need to be smacked in the face with what we already know. This happened to me in grand fashion yesterday after reading this editorial from Breaking Muscle.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have offered an Amazon Local deal twice at YogaVerve. I knew after I talked to a marketing guy from Amazon this wasn't really a route I wanted to take. He was all salesman. It made me feel dirty (in a bad way). And, for a chick that never does anything she doesn't want to, I'm still surprised I agreed to the deal - $35 for 10 yoga classes, and Amazon keeps half. Eep. It pained me to made my classes worth $1.75, and, newsflash, that is not an accurate representation of what my classes are worth. I was told to go with Amazon because unlike Groupon and Living Social, Amazon advertises to a target group (those interested in what you're selling), and only goes within the immediate geographical zone around your studio. Sounded good, and I will say, some very quality folks have come into my studio from that deal. And, true to Amazon's word, several have stayed and bought regular packages. Yet, I still felt sick about the offer. And, here's why - it's not fair for either side. I'm not getting what I'm worth, and the client isn't paying accurately for the service. Neither of us can really feel good about the exchange.

I adore my clients, and not because they pay my bills, but because they are rad humans. They make teaching fun, they get stronger and braver right in front of my eyes (which is why my job kicks ass), and they truly want me to succeed. That's because we like each other. We come from different socioeconomic, cultural, and religious backgrounds; and, we like each other. Being a grown-up with independent thought is pretty cool sometimes. My point here - I want to keep it this way. I want to keep the mutual respect. If I continue to offer discounted classes, that line is blurred because you get what you pay for. It may not be an intentional thing, but I've seen it happen, and it's why I've avoided Groupon completely and always will.

Groupon (and any other company like it) purchasers want a deal. Nothing wrong with that. The problem occurs when you associate what you're paying with the service you're getting. If your mind says, "I only paid $2 for this class," it's not far to travel to, "This class is only worth $2." I've seen it - deal comes out, studio space gets overcrowded, old school clientele gets pissed, instructor gets flustered, Groupon people don't know anything about etiquette and forgot to look up beginner class times, and boom - it all comes together as a pretty shitty experience for everyone involved.

I am an attorney. My student loan debt is a damn nice house (that I'm not living in). I have also dropped close to $10,000 on yoga teacher training. I have certifications from CorePower for hot and power Yoga, Veteran's Yoga Project, Prison Yoga Project, and Yoga for Amputees. I've attended workshops, festivals, and countless classes to improve my practice and teaching. I teach yoga, and I am a professional. This is no different from when I worked as an attorney and was also a professional in that realm. Just like your job, I constantly study to be better at mine. And, it shows. Because of this, I will not subject myself and my incredible staff to any more discount programs. I'm happy to offer incentives for my loyal clients and referral perks, but I'm done with any outside anything telling me what my prices should be and how to run my business.

My gut feeling has been right so far with this business, and I will never ignore it again. One more Amazon Local deal that comes out on June 17 (I know, I know - agreed to it months ago - no takebacks, apparently), and then I'm done.

I'm not worried about any other studio offering a deal or moving in close to me. They are nothing I can control. What I can control is providing the best experience possible for my clients and fostering a community of growth for them at my studio. If you keep your focus on your people and being the type of teacher you'd pay good money for, you simply can't fail. Sure, you can go out of business, but that's not always failing. And, I'll take my chances with that type of "failure" over becoming the Walmart of yoga studios any day. [Credit to the above referenced column and my beautiful friend, MC, for the Walmart line.]

Take a deep breath, and support as many local businesses as you can today, my friends. We are the backbone of what makes a community thrive. And, we are worth every penny you spend with us.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Full stop on whiny little tit syndrome

I frikkin' hate social media. I don't like promoting on it, looking at it, making sure my posts for businesses show up correctly, so on and so forth. I don't buy the argument that it's done tons of good, either...for any good it's done of reconnecting a lost puppy with an owner, it's ruined roughly 9,873 relationships and reputations. It's an icky Dear Diary with small amounts of entertainment thrown in the mix (see #conversationswithmomma).

I am, however, quite guilty of sharing inspirational quotes on social media because hey, I dig inspirational people. At this moment, I'm clicking back and forth on the CrossFit Games site because little Chris Spealler is about to qualify for his 7th Games out of the South West Regional, and he outweighs me by about 15 pounds. I like heart. I like to share heart. Paul Coelho is good for this; Rumi is good for this. Some whiny little tit who just got dumped is not good for this.

And here comes the point: it's time to retire the victim card, folks. If what you're putting out to the world has more to do with "woe is me" and "someone should be great to me when I'm being a twat because we're in love," well, guess what? You're a twat.

Stop making excuses for your shitty behavior, and FFS, definitely stop making excuses for someone else's behavior. Remember your worth and what you're capable of - it's not using Google images to make your ex feel bad.

Less of this:
More of go the fuck outside and be productive.