"Hey, Brian. What is this tides thing that has to do with church?"
"Huh?"
"I'm asking clients about their financial situation, and they say part of it is giving tides to the church."
"Oh...tithe - they give tithe to the church." *snicker snicker snicker* "It's an offering - some churches say that 10% of one's earnings should go to the church. It's a racket."
No shit. It took me a minute to get this. I remember glancing up every once in awhile from my coloring books when I was little to see my grandma put money on the collection plate, but I have no idea if the woman was putting 10% of her limited salary into her crazy strict church. She was pretty devout, so it's possible.
And now, here I sit, over-educated with peoples' homes in my hands, and I don't even know what the hell tithe means. I wish I still didn't. I wish I didn't know that people I'm representing in foreclosure - usually on full disability or SSI because they've been laid off, and also usually elderly or strapped down with a herd of kids - are giving 10% of their earnings to their church. In turn, this means a portion of my tax money is going to something I don't support - organized religion. Now, you can make the argument that none of us support all government programs that receive tax benefits, etc, etc, etc...but I'm talking about a voluntary belief system here. Believe what you want, but you can't have my measly nickels because you believe it. I can see the benefit in the majority of most government programs - but then again, I'm a sensible Democrat [that's sarcasm, folks...mostly]. I cannot see the benefit in guilting people who can't afford their mortgage into shelling out dollars simply because "it's what you're supposed to do."
I've told these clients to rethink what they're doing - maybe giving their time and volunteer efforts to the church is a better plan right now. They agree with me that the idea makes sense, but I can see how ingrained this 10% thing is in them; I'm sure it's what their parents did and what they've always been told to do, so I doubt I'll change their minds.
I guess the only way to end this blog is with the Serenity Prayer.
Or some such shit.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Because nobody ever wrote a song about a flat ass.
It's time to put a full stop on using the word "skinny" in a positive light.
I don't care what sex, age, or race you are - skinny ain't attractive. Skinny is usually accompanied by some unsavory jiggle, awkward movement because of a lack of muscle tone, and a general worn-out look...because that skinny person is tired...because there is no meat on or in their body.
A very lovely lady in class this morning told me her foot was hurting, but she wants to be skinny, so she's here.
"You mean 'fit,'" I said. Pretty sure CrossFit never made anybody skinny, but it sure as hell has made a lotta folks hotter than fish grease, and it seems women tend to have the most noticeable changes.
If you're looking to say you want to be a certain body type, here's some identifiers to use in place of skinny: taut, firm, lust-inducing, powerful, ripped, stacked, capable, well-built, well-made, and strong. Why would anyone want to be delicate and infirm when they could look like one of those rap guys' girlfriends? Ever heard "daammmnnnn..." uttered about somebody barely pushing a buck?
Leave the skinny for the refugees, and go do some heavy squats. Feed your beautiful machine real food, and fill out spandex the way it was meant to be done.
And, if you're one of those people who wants to be told you look "skinny," reassess your values and get your shit together.
I don't care what sex, age, or race you are - skinny ain't attractive. Skinny is usually accompanied by some unsavory jiggle, awkward movement because of a lack of muscle tone, and a general worn-out look...because that skinny person is tired...because there is no meat on or in their body.
A very lovely lady in class this morning told me her foot was hurting, but she wants to be skinny, so she's here.
"You mean 'fit,'" I said. Pretty sure CrossFit never made anybody skinny, but it sure as hell has made a lotta folks hotter than fish grease, and it seems women tend to have the most noticeable changes.
If you're looking to say you want to be a certain body type, here's some identifiers to use in place of skinny: taut, firm, lust-inducing, powerful, ripped, stacked, capable, well-built, well-made, and strong. Why would anyone want to be delicate and infirm when they could look like one of those rap guys' girlfriends? Ever heard "daammmnnnn..." uttered about somebody barely pushing a buck?
Leave the skinny for the refugees, and go do some heavy squats. Feed your beautiful machine real food, and fill out spandex the way it was meant to be done.
And, if you're one of those people who wants to be told you look "skinny," reassess your values and get your shit together.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Yoga people - get over yourselves
I mean, seriously.
The online magazine Elephant Journal has long been a go-to for the touchy-feely types. And, occasionally, there's not a bad read thrown in the mix. Hell, I think I've even reposted a few of their writers who've made a solid point where others have feared to tread (like talking about how all vaginas look just fine and are not weird, thank you very much).
So, I don't know if it's the new found employment as a real-world lawyer and all the beautiful skepticism that comes with that or just a max-out limit on the chakra-talk, but this crap sent me over the edge today: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/04/date-a-girl-who-practices-hot-yoga-sarah-brose/
Listen, chick, I'm sure someone told you masturbation is self improvement, but, there's no need to do it all over a computer screen.
I'm a firm believer that yoga helps people become a better version of themselves. I started practicing because I couldn't sleep at night when I was in law school, and damn, it worked like a charm to fix that. I enjoyed the hour a day when I could somewhat calm my overactive mind. Hell, I started a nonprofit because I wanted others to get the same benefits I did, but I wanted to do it in a way everyone could understand without too much flighty yoga juju - a good portion of society doesn't respond well to that. I know this because I'm in that portion.
The combination of breath and movement - that shit works. For many, though, overcomplicating that combination with bedazzled words and beliefs that aren't based in science is a huge turn-off.
When "yoga people" are seen as obnoxiously in love with themselves as the author (who I'm sure is a tolerable woman one-on-one...most people are) of the above link, it makes us all look like we're selling snake oil. Good ole Bikram Choudhury and John Friend don't help matters.
Simmer down, squirrelly brains. You're making me nuts.
The online magazine Elephant Journal has long been a go-to for the touchy-feely types. And, occasionally, there's not a bad read thrown in the mix. Hell, I think I've even reposted a few of their writers who've made a solid point where others have feared to tread (like talking about how all vaginas look just fine and are not weird, thank you very much).
So, I don't know if it's the new found employment as a real-world lawyer and all the beautiful skepticism that comes with that or just a max-out limit on the chakra-talk, but this crap sent me over the edge today: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/04/date-a-girl-who-practices-hot-yoga-sarah-brose/
Listen, chick, I'm sure someone told you masturbation is self improvement, but, there's no need to do it all over a computer screen.
I'm a firm believer that yoga helps people become a better version of themselves. I started practicing because I couldn't sleep at night when I was in law school, and damn, it worked like a charm to fix that. I enjoyed the hour a day when I could somewhat calm my overactive mind. Hell, I started a nonprofit because I wanted others to get the same benefits I did, but I wanted to do it in a way everyone could understand without too much flighty yoga juju - a good portion of society doesn't respond well to that. I know this because I'm in that portion.
The combination of breath and movement - that shit works. For many, though, overcomplicating that combination with bedazzled words and beliefs that aren't based in science is a huge turn-off.
When "yoga people" are seen as obnoxiously in love with themselves as the author (who I'm sure is a tolerable woman one-on-one...most people are) of the above link, it makes us all look like we're selling snake oil. Good ole Bikram Choudhury and John Friend don't help matters.
Simmer down, squirrelly brains. You're making me nuts.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
“He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg.”
Chinese philosophers...I tell ya what, those dudes can say complicated stuff succinctly.
My website for my nonprofit, Root to Rise Inc, is up...it's not perfect, but it's there and will continue to improve over time.
Thank you, thank you, thank you to Justin Boeckman for helping me get the site off the ground - something I would've had to have spent way more time and money on if not for your kindness. You answered all my dumb questions nicely, and even had the good manners to act like I wasn't a challenged individual in this arena. [I am]. I'm lucky to know ya.
So, here it is: http://www.roottoriseinc.org/
And, here's the Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Root-to-Rise-Inc/433033756781667
And, Twitter: https://twitter.com/RoottoRiseInc
I'm putting myself out there, and I'm probably going to trip up at times; some of the move forward will be slow going. But hey, 10 pounds of fun in a 5 pound bag isn't gonna fail.
I appreciate every one of you down to the tips of my toes - from those that have read my words to those that have gone well out of their way to support the organization. Gimme feedback, gimme honesty, and if you see me around, gimme some sugar.
My website for my nonprofit, Root to Rise Inc, is up...it's not perfect, but it's there and will continue to improve over time.
Thank you, thank you, thank you to Justin Boeckman for helping me get the site off the ground - something I would've had to have spent way more time and money on if not for your kindness. You answered all my dumb questions nicely, and even had the good manners to act like I wasn't a challenged individual in this arena. [I am]. I'm lucky to know ya.
So, here it is: http://www.roottoriseinc.org/
And, here's the Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Root-to-Rise-Inc/433033756781667
And, Twitter: https://twitter.com/RoottoRiseInc
I'm putting myself out there, and I'm probably going to trip up at times; some of the move forward will be slow going. But hey, 10 pounds of fun in a 5 pound bag isn't gonna fail.
I appreciate every one of you down to the tips of my toes - from those that have read my words to those that have gone well out of their way to support the organization. Gimme feedback, gimme honesty, and if you see me around, gimme some sugar.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Some days it's a bitch
^^^ That's what I said to my hot yoga class Tuesday night when my busted up knee decided to give out in toe stand and I caught myself as ungracefully as possible. I laughed and so did the class, and we moved right along. I'm not elite at anything physical, but I can coach you to be. I am the epitome of "those who can, do; those who can't, teach." I tell my 8th graders constantly that their worries about what others think will fade, and not to let the bastards get 'em down. So, why in the hell can I not laugh myself out of funks lately and constantly continue to let the bastards form tackle me?
Somewhere down deep, my flame that was once all hopped up on diesel fuel is sizzling about as much as a wet cigarette butt. It's unsettling. And yeah, of course there are reasons I feel this way. Just like there are reasons we react to everything [insert gushy motivational quote here]. Rattling off my list of crap to the general public probably won't change it. You've got crap, too, and no matter its intensity, if it's holding you back, it's just as important as mine.
It takes some major shaking up to get your ass back on track and your mind in a good place after you've been derailed. Ya can't let anyone else's ideas of who you should be and what you should be doing enter your pretty little brain. And, that is insanely harder than it sounds. It takes real and measurable change, as well as the ability to let those that don't support who you are go kick rocks...and oftentimes, the future rock-kickers matter to you.
A fresh-off-of-on-ramp CrossFitter told me this morning he was giving himself two years of solid work, and then he was gonna compete. "I'll be good to go in 2015," he said. Competing at a high level in CrossFit is cuh-razy challenging for the best athletes around (of which he is currently not one), and there was zero doubt in his voice. He has his goals saved as his phone background and those pop up every time he opens his phone. He updates that goal list every month. He is who I used to be, and he reminded me of that. Exquisite timing, buddy.
Point is, I've gotta get off the thinking (and writing) about it, and get my ever-loving shit together. I have to return to the doer mentality that's gotten me where I am. And, further down the line, when some days it's a bitch, I have to let it be just that and nothing more. Because like Stevie promised, some days, it'll be a breeze.
Somewhere down deep, my flame that was once all hopped up on diesel fuel is sizzling about as much as a wet cigarette butt. It's unsettling. And yeah, of course there are reasons I feel this way. Just like there are reasons we react to everything [insert gushy motivational quote here]. Rattling off my list of crap to the general public probably won't change it. You've got crap, too, and no matter its intensity, if it's holding you back, it's just as important as mine.
It takes some major shaking up to get your ass back on track and your mind in a good place after you've been derailed. Ya can't let anyone else's ideas of who you should be and what you should be doing enter your pretty little brain. And, that is insanely harder than it sounds. It takes real and measurable change, as well as the ability to let those that don't support who you are go kick rocks...and oftentimes, the future rock-kickers matter to you.
A fresh-off-of-on-ramp CrossFitter told me this morning he was giving himself two years of solid work, and then he was gonna compete. "I'll be good to go in 2015," he said. Competing at a high level in CrossFit is cuh-razy challenging for the best athletes around (of which he is currently not one), and there was zero doubt in his voice. He has his goals saved as his phone background and those pop up every time he opens his phone. He updates that goal list every month. He is who I used to be, and he reminded me of that. Exquisite timing, buddy.
Point is, I've gotta get off the thinking (and writing) about it, and get my ever-loving shit together. I have to return to the doer mentality that's gotten me where I am. And, further down the line, when some days it's a bitch, I have to let it be just that and nothing more. Because like Stevie promised, some days, it'll be a breeze.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Turns out starting a nonprofit requires a lot of profit...
I've never been the type to ask for advice. On anything. I went to law school on a whim, never requiring any outside approval for if it was remotely close to a good idea (verdict is still out on whether it was or not). I rarely ask people if I look good in an outfit or how they like my hair - never occurs to me to do so. I make decisions quick, and I stick with those. I married a man two weeks into our relationship (verdict is not out on that - damn good idea).
So, I am slightly flustered and weirded out that ever since this nonprofit of mine received approval, I've been the most indecisive lady around - pouring over logos for hours, stressing over how a website should look - I can't make a solid decision to save my life. And, now I come to you - my dedicated public, with a request to be better at decision-making than I am. And also, to take the time out of your already busy day to help a sister out.
My beautiful, glowing, exquisite 501(c)(3) nonprofit is ROOT TO RISE INC. Here's the mission statement: "The mission of ROOT TO RISE INC is healing and empowering survivors of trauma through the practice of meditation, mindful awareness, and yoga. Practitioners learn to connect to the inner strength they possess and gain awareness of the present through the union of breath and physical postures. From this, they rise out of mental, emotional, and physical distress."
My main groups served will be prisoners, veterans, and children. I do not believe it ethical to take photographs of any of these people, and I am sticking by that assertion until someone has a decent argument to persuade me otherwise.
The problem: photographs make or break a website. Photographs show the human condition and evoke emotion in each of us. Photographs show healing. And, a website is a nonprofit's connection to the world. A website makes or breaks a nonprofit.
Stuck, I am.
I trained under James Fox of the Prison Yoga Project, and he has photos of his practitioners on their website. For the prison to allow this, a credible news outlet had to do a story on his work and take the photos. The prisoners all agreed to this and signed a release. What if those that I teach sign a waiver and agree to the photographs? What if they then get out, and a year later they regret the decision because of whatever circumstances have risen in their lives? What if a war veteran signs off on his or her photo being used, only to catch hell for doing something "sissy" like yoga, and they never return to class? I don't want to put anyone that is searching for help and healing in an uncomfortable place, ever. And, without question, I completely disagree with photographing children who have been through a traumatic situation. They are the cutest things around and so natural at yoga, but pics of these kids all over the place is just not ok.
Can you help me here? Can you give me some ideas for how to get around this?
I have letters from inmates that I plan on posting on the website (names removed, of course). I will have an ongoing blog on the site, and info on our Board of Directors, Officers, and how it all got started. There will be a link for how to donate and upcoming events, as well as links to similar nonprofits and collaboration ideas. Yeah...this is a bunch of words...and those things aren't as appealing as faces.
Any feedback is welcome here - disagree or agree with me - I wanna hear it. And, if you're someone who knows more about websites than me (that would be all of you), maybe let me know some alternatives that you've seen work. Please comment in the area reserved for it below.
I truly appreciate the help. You're all on my Christmas card list.
So, I am slightly flustered and weirded out that ever since this nonprofit of mine received approval, I've been the most indecisive lady around - pouring over logos for hours, stressing over how a website should look - I can't make a solid decision to save my life. And, now I come to you - my dedicated public, with a request to be better at decision-making than I am. And also, to take the time out of your already busy day to help a sister out.
My beautiful, glowing, exquisite 501(c)(3) nonprofit is ROOT TO RISE INC. Here's the mission statement: "The mission of ROOT TO RISE INC is healing and empowering survivors of trauma through the practice of meditation, mindful awareness, and yoga. Practitioners learn to connect to the inner strength they possess and gain awareness of the present through the union of breath and physical postures. From this, they rise out of mental, emotional, and physical distress."
My main groups served will be prisoners, veterans, and children. I do not believe it ethical to take photographs of any of these people, and I am sticking by that assertion until someone has a decent argument to persuade me otherwise.
The problem: photographs make or break a website. Photographs show the human condition and evoke emotion in each of us. Photographs show healing. And, a website is a nonprofit's connection to the world. A website makes or breaks a nonprofit.
Stuck, I am.
I trained under James Fox of the Prison Yoga Project, and he has photos of his practitioners on their website. For the prison to allow this, a credible news outlet had to do a story on his work and take the photos. The prisoners all agreed to this and signed a release. What if those that I teach sign a waiver and agree to the photographs? What if they then get out, and a year later they regret the decision because of whatever circumstances have risen in their lives? What if a war veteran signs off on his or her photo being used, only to catch hell for doing something "sissy" like yoga, and they never return to class? I don't want to put anyone that is searching for help and healing in an uncomfortable place, ever. And, without question, I completely disagree with photographing children who have been through a traumatic situation. They are the cutest things around and so natural at yoga, but pics of these kids all over the place is just not ok.
Can you help me here? Can you give me some ideas for how to get around this?
I have letters from inmates that I plan on posting on the website (names removed, of course). I will have an ongoing blog on the site, and info on our Board of Directors, Officers, and how it all got started. There will be a link for how to donate and upcoming events, as well as links to similar nonprofits and collaboration ideas. Yeah...this is a bunch of words...and those things aren't as appealing as faces.
Any feedback is welcome here - disagree or agree with me - I wanna hear it. And, if you're someone who knows more about websites than me (that would be all of you), maybe let me know some alternatives that you've seen work. Please comment in the area reserved for it below.
I truly appreciate the help. You're all on my Christmas card list.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
I don't like it, but because of the work I'm currently doing, I have to spend some time every day on social media. I'm in front of the computer several hours at a time now that I'm trying to get a website and logo designed to perfection. And, when faced with the affront of social media, you're also faced with opinions of the masses...quite the disheartening situation. Folks are ever-so-tough sitting on the other side of a computer...criticizing the world from their cheese-stained couch. And, while society has always been hyper-critical of women, the commentary lately is making me batshit.
I went to check my email today and there was a pop-up on the AOL homepage from Self magazine. It was some drivel about "Looks He's Into"...I tried to find it on a search just now and couldn't, and I really don't want that crap in my computer history...how embarrassing. Anyway, it was a poll from "men" about what looks they like on women. Apparently, the consensus is that you shouldn't wear makeup, yet should look stunningly, naturally beautiful at all times. And, don't do your hair up too much - it needs to look like you always just rolled out of bed, because, of course, we should all look like we recently wiped the spooge off when we're at the office. And, short hair is not attractive and a definite "no-no"..."unless you look like Halle Berry." Well, shit. She and I share the same birthday and I'm usually pretty tan and getting tauter by the day...does that count? Can I be accepted?
Fuck off, Self magazine. We'll all pretty aware gender equality is a myth - lord only knows when women will get equal pay for equal work and not be judged by how high their ass sits. We don't really need some dumbass magazine and even more dumbass men telling us what we should be. Do you know young girls read this? Do you know how self conscious a teenager is? And this is even a magazine geared towards women...the sexism of Maxim and FHM is a whole 'nother story.
Add to this seeing comments today on a photo of a beautiful female CrossFitter, half-naked, as we CrossFitters tend to roll (it's effing hot in the box...heheh) from a few select men about how unattractive the lady was - how she looked "manly." Ummmm, false. She was hot. I've heard too many women express their fear of "bulkiness" (impossible, unless you're juicing) when it comes to weight training - and it's usually some needledick boyfriend that put this idea in their head. I've also had a number of women say to me, "Your tattoos are beautiful! My husband/boyfriend/fiance wouldn't allow me to do that." Allow? Are you out of your mind?
And, I'd bet you my left pinky toe that if a man doesn't think this is smokin',
The most solid, attractive, and appealing men I know love a woman with muscles, her own style and originality, and a lack of tolerance for being told how she needs to look.
Until we women own our health and wellness, not our pant size, this BS will continue. Until we realize how beautiful a solid body is and step away from a scale, we're at the mercy of the media. Turn off the crap, unsubscribe from the magazines, attack negativity and idiotic comments with all you've got, and go do a heavy back squat. I know that's pretty much the only thing that's gonna calm me down today.
I went to check my email today and there was a pop-up on the AOL homepage from Self magazine. It was some drivel about "Looks He's Into"...I tried to find it on a search just now and couldn't, and I really don't want that crap in my computer history...how embarrassing. Anyway, it was a poll from "men" about what looks they like on women. Apparently, the consensus is that you shouldn't wear makeup, yet should look stunningly, naturally beautiful at all times. And, don't do your hair up too much - it needs to look like you always just rolled out of bed, because, of course, we should all look like we recently wiped the spooge off when we're at the office. And, short hair is not attractive and a definite "no-no"..."unless you look like Halle Berry." Well, shit. She and I share the same birthday and I'm usually pretty tan and getting tauter by the day...does that count? Can I be accepted?
Fuck off, Self magazine. We'll all pretty aware gender equality is a myth - lord only knows when women will get equal pay for equal work and not be judged by how high their ass sits. We don't really need some dumbass magazine and even more dumbass men telling us what we should be. Do you know young girls read this? Do you know how self conscious a teenager is? And this is even a magazine geared towards women...the sexism of Maxim and FHM is a whole 'nother story.
Add to this seeing comments today on a photo of a beautiful female CrossFitter, half-naked, as we CrossFitters tend to roll (it's effing hot in the box...heheh) from a few select men about how unattractive the lady was - how she looked "manly." Ummmm, false. She was hot. I've heard too many women express their fear of "bulkiness" (impossible, unless you're juicing) when it comes to weight training - and it's usually some needledick boyfriend that put this idea in their head. I've also had a number of women say to me, "Your tattoos are beautiful! My husband/boyfriend/fiance wouldn't allow me to do that." Allow? Are you out of your mind?
And, I'd bet you my left pinky toe that if a man doesn't think this is smokin',
he's barely peeking outta the grass anyway.
The most solid, attractive, and appealing men I know love a woman with muscles, her own style and originality, and a lack of tolerance for being told how she needs to look.
Until we women own our health and wellness, not our pant size, this BS will continue. Until we realize how beautiful a solid body is and step away from a scale, we're at the mercy of the media. Turn off the crap, unsubscribe from the magazines, attack negativity and idiotic comments with all you've got, and go do a heavy back squat. I know that's pretty much the only thing that's gonna calm me down today.
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