Some days it's a bitch

^^^  That's what I said to my hot yoga class Tuesday night when my busted up knee decided to give out in toe stand and I caught myself as ungracefully as possible. I laughed and so did the class, and we moved right along. I'm not elite at anything physical, but I can coach you to be. I am the epitome of "those who can, do; those who can't, teach." I tell my 8th graders constantly that their worries about what others think will fade, and not to let the bastards get 'em down. So, why in the hell can I not laugh myself out of funks lately and constantly continue to let the bastards form tackle me?

Somewhere down deep, my flame that was once all hopped up on diesel fuel is sizzling about as much as a wet cigarette butt. It's unsettling. And yeah, of course there are reasons I feel this way. Just like there are reasons we react to everything [insert gushy motivational quote here]. Rattling off my list of crap to the general public probably won't change it. You've got crap, too, and no matter its intensity, if it's holding you back, it's just as important as mine.

It takes some major shaking up to get your ass back on track and your mind in a good place after you've been derailed. Ya can't let anyone else's ideas of who you should be and what you should be doing enter your pretty little brain. And, that is insanely harder than it sounds. It takes real and measurable change, as well as the ability to let those that don't support who you are go kick rocks...and oftentimes, the future rock-kickers matter to you.

A fresh-off-of-on-ramp CrossFitter told me this morning he was giving himself two years of solid work, and then he was gonna compete. "I'll be good to go in 2015," he said. Competing at a high level in CrossFit is cuh-razy challenging for the best athletes around (of which he is currently not one), and there was zero doubt in his voice. He has his goals saved as his phone background and those pop up every time he opens his phone. He updates that goal list every month. He is who I used to be, and he reminded me of that. Exquisite timing, buddy.

Point is, I've gotta get off the thinking (and writing) about it, and get my ever-loving shit together. I have to return to the doer mentality that's gotten me where I am. And, further down the line, when some days it's a bitch, I have to let it be just that and nothing more. Because like Stevie promised, some days, it'll be a breeze.