Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Reset button

I'm having a bit of a rough time lately. Mind you, I've got first world problems out the wazoo, but it's quite scary not being able to pay your bills, eating like ya shouldn't, and sleeping about half the amount you require. These things screw with your hormones and kinda mess up your life. And this being consistent over several months' time, well, that just sorta turns one into an asshole.

And today, I was feeling particularly assholish. I was spent. There was a raccoon's nest in my unkempt hair, and I had on the same clothes from yesterday...and, my friends, I do a lot of the fitness...

My last yoga class of the day was at Kate Barnard Correctional Center. I forced myself to drive to the east side. I wasn't into it. I feel like my nonprofit has been neglected at the expense of having to focus on for profit endeavors lately, and it pisses me off. I spilled my coffee on myself getting out of the truck. I pulled out our mat box and realized some random incarcerated bitch had stolen my mat cleaner.

I really wasn't into it.

I let my class know I was a little tired. I managed not to tell a student I was going to write an L and an R on her hands if she didn't get the left/right business together. Remember - "assholish." And then, about 3/4 of the way through class, an older lady tells me her knee hurts.


"Yeah, it just pops in and out and that hurts. I've been doing a lot of squatting since I got put in here, and it hurts more."

"What kind of squatting?" asks the slowly perking up me.

"Well, I use that machine in there..."

I stopped class. "Stand up. Show me what you're doing."

It was not a good thing. Her knees were together, her torso was on top of her thighs, her face was all squinty.

"Hold up - stop that. Everybody, we're gonna learn how to squat."

I taught them a proper squat. CrossFit HQ woulda been proud. "Now, does that hurt your knee?"

"No...it feels fine." She looked damn surprised to be pain free. I grinned.

"Do 150 of those a day - air squats - and don't get back on that silly machine."

"Yes ma'am."

My mood immediately changed when all the ladies squatted correctly...they looked strong; they looked motivated. I stopped feeling tired and started feeling like I needed to work my tail off to get CrossFit methodology in our prison system.

And just like that, I was back to the old me. Time for a steak and bed.


  1. Well, you made me laugh ("get the left/right business together") through some serious, blathering, snotty-nosed tears. So, thanks for that. And, good for you.

  2. Yesterday was similar in the need to shower and change clothes, only add a ton of baby snot smeared everywhere. So glad you got those ladies squared away. You keep doing good.

  3. I wish there was a high five/butt pat button... atta girl